Patients say the darndest things…especially after anesthesia. Even the most calm, cool, and collected patient can make you laugh as they slowly regain awareness.
Before the days of the Internet, nurses and patients could only tell these hilarious stories to real-life friends. Thanks to Reddit, however, we can all enjoy them. Because really, who among us couldn’t use a good laugh? Here are 5 of the best stories about coming out of anesthesia:
The Tale of Lord Molar
Every healthcare professional has had a demanding patient, but have you ever had one who spoke like royalty? At least one dental practice has bowed down to such a patient.
Reddit user CrossFox42 wrote, “When I came out from having my wisdom teeth pulled I apparently shot up, looked at the doctor and said ‘Charlatan! I demand you return my teeth! They are mine and I will choose where they are to be spent!’ My dad said he couldn’t stop laughing because I wouldn’t leave without them. When I woke up at home I asked my dad why my teeth were in a plastic bag on the table, he told me everything and promptly started calling me Lord Molar for the rest of the night.”
All hail Lord Molar!
This A+ Mathematician
Some people have trouble with negative numbers even when they are wide awake. Not this patient of Reddit user thefamiliarfez, who wrote, “You may know that we ask the patient to count down from 10 while we put him under? Well he woke up murmuring ‘-53, -54, -55…’ as if he’d been counting in his sleep.”
We’re sure the surgery lasted longer than one minute, but that’s still impressive!
A True Casanova
Reddit user Twitch_Half came out of anesthesia and his shell simultaneously. This once-shy lady’s man wrote, “After having my wisdom teeth removed I outrageously hit on three girls who were also in the recovery room with me (I’m normally quite a quiet and shy person). It wasn’t until I got home that was informed two of the three were in fact medical mannequins.”
We have to wonder how the nurses handled that one!
The Reddit Addict
In the age of smart phones, many people wake up and immediately check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Reddit. This patient just put a little twist on that routine.
An anonymous Reddit user wrote, “…I was laying on the bed and my brain thought that there was a giant iPhone in front of me. So I started swiping the imaginary touch screen trying to find my Reddit app. The nurse says to me, ‘you seeing things, Hun?’
‘Nope, just browsing Reddit’””
Stuck in Mom Mode
Another anonymous Reddit user wrote, “…I was sitting in the recovery room after my girlfriend had her appendix out, and they wheeled in an older woman. The nurses were talking about nursey stuff, like what cubicle to put her in, and the older woman goes ‘HEY! Quiet down back there, or I’m turning this car around right now’” in a dopey anesthesia voice. On cue, both nurses go ‘Sorry, Mom!’ The lady smiles.”
Mom Mode never really goes away, even under anesthesia. What great nurses!